Here we go

My quick diary entry that I could not do yesterday. It is 3.30! My attempts to reform myself are failing miserably. I am still inattentive. My headspace is going horribly. My work is suffering. I have to go to Hyderabad tomorrow at that. Akhilesh has distanced himself from me. Specifically, he does not sleep with […]

Third day is not a birthday

So, today I finally asked Akhilesh about why he wanted to sleep separately. It was a productive discussion. I listened without being defensive (I still felt defensive). It boils down to what we have discussed earlier: I do not think of him as much as he does. In terms of mindspace. I do not suprise […]

Diary continues

I wrote last time about my difficulties in the relationship. They continue. It seems like I have decided to be angry/sad. Akhilesh was being cranky and saying no to giving me his phone. I don’t know whether it hurt me as much or that I wanted it to hurt me as much. I almost seem […]

Another attempt at my diary entry

A diary is a peculiar thing. You do not understand its value until some time has passed. I came here to resume my habit of writing my diary. But then I started reading the last post. It was about my mother’s death. It was deeply interesting and upsetting. It recounted the events of that day […]

Why is my mother no more?

I make a lot of jokes about death. And I find myself with my mother, my unconditional support, dead. This happened last Sunday and there are a ton of questions unanswered. My mother used to chide me like everyone whenever I used to talk about my impending death. For example, I used to say that she should not […]

The Wounded

I do not usually explain my poems. But this is one of my older ones. Usually I throw away the poems I make; I send them to a friend, say, and will not bother to copy it back. Or put it as a comment somewhere never to be found again. But I have this one […]