… I want to learn the rules of the mob. If you believe mob to be unruly by definition, you are mighty wrong. Think Babri. On second thoughts, forget that controversial tangent; I merely wish WordPress doesn’t have rubble of some rusty old site underneath.
I am feeling mixed emotions these days. I used to be a die-hard Facebook addict. I would wake up. Check facebook and respond to notifications I gathered throughout the night. Brush my teeth. Check facebook while bathroom was busy, have breakfast, check facebook before exiting. Roam outside house for whatever I went outside in the first place, then come back. Take an oath not to open facebook, drink chilled water, sit in front of cooler for a couple of minutes, discard my shoes and socks and maybe change into some comfortable clothes, maybe not. Then gather my books, grab a pen, go back to find the one book I can’t find but really need. Find it and go back to study. Before opening the book, open the laptop in the guise of studies. Remind myself of my oath. Open facebook withing the next 1o seconds. Make a promise to not sit there more than five minutes. Anyways browse the web because Facebook really doesn’t have anything for me to do. Yet I would check it every 10 minutes for a notification. I really don’t remember a time when I would have more than 2 notifications there. Yet, I would be making up a funny status, check my newsfeed and later ticker, revise my privacy settings every now and then, check lists, post links from the rest of the web, like, comment and like something on it. There are some posts on my old blog just professing my gotta love, gotta hate attitude with FB. Cut to today, it has changed to meh. I have the best profile pic I can ever manage in my life, I don’t upload pictures, I have hidden every nobody from my newsfeed, in return I don’t get many likes for my ‘funny’ status updates. And thus I have nothing to do there. Chat might be the only thing that I interact with if I ever do, occasional status or link aside. Facebook has managed to stay in the top 8 sites of my about:Tabs only because I use it to check whether my ever-flaky connection is working or not (Google is not the correct indicator when checking for slow sites).
So yes, I am extremely happy to be free of the cuffs of the largest social networking site of the planet. Though at what expense? Yes, slavery to a site which is… neither the biggest blogging platform nor bigger than blogspot?! Oh, more internet search revealed that “WordPress (as a CMS) powers the 22% of all new sites as of August 2011.” And not the site WordPress.com itself. Good to have the difference sorted once and for all, and to know that blogspot is actually going on as of today! I had disposed it into the historic dustbins since eternity. Either way, my blog has become an outlet for me. I don’t know the extent to which I would be writing here in the future, what with entrance exams hovering in the background. But I am doubtful I would leave it since I have already taken multiple oath to abandon it already. Yeah… leave it! Throw away all the stuff I have gathered over the past few months here… my audience, my favourite blogs, Freshly Pressed, reader, and all such goodies.
There was a time when I wasn’t able to maintain a regular blog (see: timestamps on my homepage). It was a heavy-duty work that involved putting aside 1-2 hours for a thought-out, supposedly funny writing piece – the serious ones came naturally alongwith anger, angst and the whole spectrum of negative emotions – that then had to be further pruned for errors and edits. It demanded all your attention and creativity. And here I’m taking for granted that I would have a topic to write about. Sometimes with luck stars aligned and it popped up naturally, but usually I had to rack my brains inside out to invent it. I do have a ready list of topics from which I can pick and choose. But if I was so enthusiastic to use them, wouldn’t I have already covered it?
And now that I am addicted, there so no dearth of topics – only time. Plus, I want to maintain consistency. Today my mania can last for some time, but I know that I cannot update my blog everyday for ever, unless some royalty adopts me and I would never have to worry about my future again; then there would not be any guilt of wasting time. Though in general life, I am just a common man who walks ten minutes between bus stops to save the rent of the rickshaw. And who wants to open a night school for deprived children, and their future depends upon my own future. A responsibilty. So, I try to wait at least a couple of days until I post again. But sometimes, you just can’t help it!
A question might arise: what do I do now on those intermediate 2 days? Enter the WordPress community. It was the one which got me addicted in the first place. Though a friend had an active blog and her happiness over her new followers would remind me to update mine too every once in a while, it was an external motivation. But true addiction was due to WordPress itself. Earlier, I used not to interact with others, since making my blog famous using ‘dirty socialising tricks’ was beyond me. Then on Freshly Pressed one day, I caught the whiff of the eldest sister of 4 other mid, midder, middler and middlest sisters. Her cut-paper comics were so fresh I would actively like and follow every single of her posts, and share her links on Facebook (yes, it was that time). And through one of her comments, I saw a girl who didn’t know what she meant 2 say, yet from my experience she says a lot. After that I found a New Zealand girl (actually she found me, I just got back to her) living in Spain whose musings about life were personal and cosy; a whole new culture was looking at me and made me realize more about my own. Finally one day, when I searched the reader once for tag ‘gay’, it gave me buckets full of new blogs to follow. The word is generic yet a little niche. Thus I get many and many meaningful posts every day, unlike ‘humor’ which I just can never keep up with. In short, I got acquainted with you people here.
Before, I used to cherish likes on my posts like badges on my coat. Don’t forget: I came from Facebook. But now I like comments’ notifications the most, if only because somebody has replied to something I have written. I feel like I have finally found out what made blog community a community. People talk to each other like old friends. They feed jokes into the system and can get genuine sympathies from total strangers. It is a strange world here. I feel like I have finally found its pulse. But again: have I?
It still feels odd to comment on a blog. I feel like an outsider, a stalker. Earlier, I used to follow someone only after I had ensured I would like them. But now I follow anyone who catches my eye. And they have engaging stories mostly, every one of them. My fear of a cluttered newsfeed was unfounded; I have somehow broadened my horizons. I have contradicted myself and now actively strive to read good blogs and make it a point to leave comments on ones that I thoroughly enjoyed. Even then, have I become a nutcase? Even after following more than two dozen blogs, I get only a share of 3-4 blogs per day. That is unfair because I have exhausted my reader tags. There is nothing new to read. Freshly pressed can only take someone so far. I gobble up ‘About me’ of other blogs. Just 3 days back, I was reading a post where someone was talking about how they get likes the instant they publish it. Now I am not that fast (a human after all) but I think I might have liked a post or two within the minute of coming up on my reader screen. I liked them genuinely, to make it clear. But am I a kind of spam?
I believe not, and have to believe not. Mostly my problem remains that I have lost my way around here. I need blogs you like, tags you follow, people you enjoy. O my dear readers, I just need MOAR!