Mid-day Monday

Hello 10th December!

I have come here for the sole purpose of saying how overrated ‘Weekend’ is. I was reading up top 100 gay-themed movies of all time and there it was consistently on top. Shall I watch it? Why not? And there I saw it and wasted 1.67 hours (approx.) of my life. It was a movie which would be loved in its home country. But I don’t go to gay clubs. I don’t do drugs. I don’t pick up random strangers. And that’s why I didn’t like the movie. It was about how strong two men connected over a weekend. But I didn’t see any connection; they were lying on bed one second and crying for each other the other. I liked the protagonist but the other guy not so much. He looked like a cunning, manipulative man. If this was their idea of poles attract, I’m dreading to see who my other pole is. In short, not worth the hype. Or rather, after seeing ‘Brokeback Mountain’, I know how movies with prolonged silence should behave. Oh, so I did like BB after all.

So now, back to life. There is nothing in it. This is a boring period of my life. All my friends are going to sit for their exams for the whole of this month. Yeah, I can study for my exam this fourteen, or I can study some calculus which has rusted so much I am horrified. Now that is no excuse, but it is a horrible fact nonetheless. I don’t like to sit at home all day; the idea of going out and doing something with my life is much better hands down.

This morning, I was joking with my sister how we were going to preserve our mother after death. Taxidermy it would be. And my mother got sentimental. Now I am not waiting for her looming death or something (and her death is not looming), but I certainly got a little carried away. When she approached me in the middle of the movie, I brushed her off. That sounds pretty bad, more so because the movie was a proper wastage of my time, but I didn’t want her seeing any glimpse of the movie. It was a gay movie and that is something I would rather keep her in dark about.

Other than that, my life went pretty flat. I slept for ten hours straight yesterday, so that might be a reason. I didn’t even eat dinner yesterday. Oh yeah, and I have decided to be a little out of touch with my friends in institute. They are not the people for whom I should break a sweat. Special mention is for Nikita. That girl is very friendly, very helpful and I would feel sorry to not to her but that is the opportunity cost of leaving Sourabh and Dimple behind. I am just figuring out how to do it because we would still be attending the same classes. To drift apart after getting know each other so well, that takes some special trick. One of them might be to play the gay card. I was thinking of going along the lines of… “See, people. I am (pause) gay. And this is something that is keeping me occupied. I just want to be let alone for as long as I want. Thank you for being supportive.” And then… frreee!!! :D :D

Yeah it sounds quite lame. But, oh, what do they know about being gay. Some great person once said, “If you don’t know anything, you have to believe everything.” And they don’t know anything about being gay. If they pretend to care—or do care—I don’t care. This sounds the best way of getting away from the lot of them. But I just have to pass this proposal through Mittal. After all, she is the one who might have a problem with it. She is directly involved and she is still going to be with them. I now resent the fact that Sourabh came to Deepika’s home. I hope they are not in touch! I have to do something to keep the two worlds apart. Too much work, too less a time. Got to go, bye!

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