An Error-prone Post… Why Even Life Is Much The Same

Oops-bets. This is what allowed me to punch Saurabh in the back, twice at that! He is a hulk of a man. Or that he is a healthy boy but compared to me, you won’t have to do much to earn a reputation of a Samson. He looks like one. He has good biceps, a shapely body mildly disfigured by a small paunch. Otherwise, he looks better than almost all people in his vicinity at any time. And I, being an invisible gay man, can’t even flirt with him. So many girls drool over him that it feels nice to have Mittal never pays him any more heed than is necessary. She actually makes fun of him; I can’t be left behind at that! We are like a team in our institute, Mittal and me. Usually there were always people around me who seemed to be together. They used to be more friends than any two other and I couldn’t fathom the reason what special bond joined them. Now I know; it is not that the bond between me and Mittal is very strong but it is just that we are surrounded by a lot of Van der Waal bonds.

I hauled the Thomas (of Calculus fame, the book I have is so cutting edge that in this edition the famous Finney of Thomas-Finney pair has died – now it is just Thomas) all to the institute. The purpose was to study, I did. But another, weaker but more logical reason was to have it separated by book-binder in several luggable bunches. Otherwise that heap of a mass would just wear the flesh off my right shoulder. But the bad news was that no bookshop said they would do it; the one I thought would do it told me that this is the season of new academic year in schools is nearby. So all the labour would be put in to bind books for new textbooks used in schools, for the next month or two. The scale seems staggering if such is the case, but the sad casuality is me the lone, individual customer with a single book to be torn off in pieces by his ruthless hands in exchange for some pennies.

In other news, I am getting more and more nervous due to the exams drawing nearer. At least in relativistic terms. I hope it increases in the coming days, fear is the only invariant motivation in me, but it shows its face very rarely. There is this very bad trait in me; I don’t know if such a term exists for it or not. I start taking any work seriously only if I know I cannot complete it by the deadline. In other words, unless I wait and procrastinate till I know I have to leave something undone when the deadline comes. It happens when I am running late, when I have an exam the next day, when I have to get ready for some party or anything really. I can’t be the only one like; there has to be a term for such a substantial part of me.

My exam is a month away. To procrastinate – since I do have time to cover all the syllabus – I have to do something. I just can’t sit and look at the walls. I don’t like to sleep. TV mostly have repeats going on and I tend to avoid it anyway. Books are really worth my time so I wouldn’t read them. Such goes with newspaper and my German books. Till now I tended to choose something among them only because they were my only choice. Not nowadays. I have a new hobby right now – to teach Megha how to program. She needs a program for something in her reasearch paper. She needs to learn programming and I am her saviour. She mostly ignores me and keeps me hanging for her time while she talks on the phone or wastes time on Facebook. Yep, I beg her so that I can teach her. My ego is deflated a little but I really like it, however she may like or dislike it herself. Though, a couple of days later it doesn’t seem such an exciting prospect. She has to finally do the hard work herself and I can’t write all of her program myself after all. So I just ask her to at least come up with the logic, even though I cringe when I don’t do it. Making programs is actually exciting once you get the hang of it.

And with it, I bid you goodbye. I have archived a part of my life today. That is what I promised myself. Having done it all, I have to go now. To study for real after lugging the load for the whole day.

Bye!

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