I wrote last time about my difficulties in the relationship. They continue.
It seems like I have decided to be angry/sad. Akhilesh was being cranky and saying no to giving me his phone. I don’t know whether it hurt me as much or that I wanted it to hurt me as much.
I almost seem to want a reward for the work I do. I cleaned up the fungus infected refrigerator. And I need Akhilesh to acknowledge it like it is the first time I am cleaning the refrigerator. Interestingly, I also want my freedom. Is it possible to have someone praise you of good work without criticism of the bad / undone work?
Also, I was quite down today throughout. Didn’t want to talk to anyone. Put my head down and worked. Didn’t talk or message anyone.
Back to relationship: it irks me that Akhilesh insists we sleep separately and yet asked to come join him tonight for sleep. I need ground rules else I feel like he is calling the shots. I hate that feeling of not being in control of my life.
Anyway, it is almost 4am. I should sleep now. Good bye!