So, today I finally asked Akhilesh about why he wanted to sleep separately. It was a productive discussion. I listened without being defensive (I still felt defensive). It boils down to what we have discussed earlier:
- I do not think of him as much as he does. In terms of mindspace.
- I do not suprise him, I do not do things that make him happy preemptively.
- He does not feel loved or valued.
Fair enough. Anyone can feel that. So i have decided to give him more of the mindshare as a part of my mindfulness exercises. I will spend some dedicated time for people in my life. Thinking about what they are doing and how I can reach out, surprise, help. I have set an alarm for it. 😅
So I am finally coming to terms with the fact that Akhilesh sleeps separately. I will try to enjoy it now on. Also, thinking about thinking for others made me realize I have to send package for Vibhuti, send photos to Papa, talk to sister, visit Karthik to get all the gifts and dispatch back the stuff I loaned to people. Let me do it tomorrow.
On to my hesdspace session. Good night!